A Piece of Advice

I.

    “You needn’t work hard to pass this exam, Bob,” Joy said one evening when they were sitting together in a half-empty coffee-house. “All you have to do is to learn some Latin expressions by heart as your examiner is really very fond of Latin. Then you ought to put on a white shirt and a blue tie, as blue seems to be his favorite color. Next, when you enter the exam room you should say good-morning and try to smile as nicely as only you can as the examiner doesn’t like gloomy faces. Remember, you mustn’t sit down by yourself. Just wait till he tells you to do that. Then you ought to use your left hand (the right one doesn’t seem to be lucky) and take the first question from the left. It has been scientifically checked that he always puts the easiest questions there. When you have started answering your question, try to look straight into his eyes. And, first of all, you ought to make an impression on him. Try to do that as hard as only you can. You must show that you are a wise person. You may try to get into a small discussion with him, if that is only possible, But, remember, do not exaggerate! Just a little bit of discussion! Don’t you try to show that you are wiser than you really are. Actually, that will be the only problem you have to get through. The next time we meet I will be congratulating you on your great success in having passed that exam in phonetics you are so afraid of. Come on! Don’t chicken, mate! Exams were invented to be passed, you know!”


II.

    Two weeks later the two friends met again.
    “Well,” asked Joy. “Did you pass?”
    “You bet, I did!” said Bob angrily. “You told me I needn’t do some things and I was so stupid as to listen to you.”
    “That’s impossible!” exclaimed Joy. “You must have made a mistake or something! The method I sold you was OK! It always worked with your examiner.”
    “Listen, Joy!” said Bob. “I think I can tell you about my exam.”
    Joy sipped some coffee and looked at Bob from above her glasses.
    “Shoot!” she said, moving restlessly in the chair.
    “I entered the room and tried to smile nicely at the Professor,” began Bob. “He looked at me with interest and asked me if I had a toothache. As I said my teeth were fine, he told me not to make faces at him, as this exam was a damn serious business. Next I wanted to take a question with my left hand but there weren’t any questions waiting on the table. The Professor just told me to sit down and began asking me the questions, one after the other. I did want to discuss some things with him, but everything I learned was that my knowledge needed brushing up and that I had to be better prepared. When I wanted to produce some Latin expressions, he looked at me as if I had just been accused of running over his favorite cat, or some other pet, and told me not to try to be too funny. In fact he looked to be really angry with me. He even called me a youngster, which was something I could hardly stand. I think I shouldn’t have listened to your advice. I should have spent some time on my phonetics, just as Peter and Bill did, and now I wouldn’t have a problem, would I?”
     “That’s strange,” said Joy. “That’s really strange. Who did you have your exam with? Good old Grooms?”
    “Grooms!” exclaimed Bob. “Good heavens! Grooms would be fine. But that was Billings who failed me, blast him! We were told he was requested to carry out this exam as Professor Grooms was ill!”
    “Well,” said Joy, “You should have told me about that. If you want to pass Billings’ exam you should do something completely different. You have to learn the titles of the chapters of his book and try to show that you have read it from the beginning to the end. Apart from that, you should also…”
    “Please, Joy, stop it!” said Bob hastily. “I’m not going to try it again. I shouldn’t have listened to your advice before the exam. Then I would have been much happier, wouldn’t I? Actually, I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going to work hard now. And, if you need my advice, you should do the same, too.”


A. Read the text carefully and decide which statements given below are true (T), and which ones are false (F).

a.     Joy’s examiner was Professor Grooms.
b.     Bob wanted to pass an exam in phonetics.
c.     The place they first talked about the exam was a coffee-house.
d.     Joy had problems with her eyes.
e.     Professor Grooms didn’t like Latin.
f.     Joy’s favorite drink was coffee.
g.     Professor Billings didn’t have a sense of humor.
h.     Professor Grooms wasn’t able to ask Bill because he had a toothache.
i.     Joy seemed to know how to pass all the exams.
j.     Bob has made up his mind not to listen to any pieces of advice given by Joy.